Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Fiction Writing

This is my response to the IndieInk writing challenge. I was challenged by Leslie with "She was everyone else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own." And I challengedMichael with "The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel." - Charles Schwab

The five girls paid the cover charge and entered the nightclub. The cover had seemed steep but the place looked so enticing from the outside. A small little place tucked away in the middle of the city. Margaret, Sasha, Tina, Tara, and Molly all agreed they had never seen anything like this place before.

"Um..." Margaret leaned over to whisper, "Molly, this isn't a normal night club."

"Yes. Of course it is." Molly whispered, "Shut up. We already paid our cover charge."

"LOOK! There are THREE dance floors!" One of the other girls began to squeal.

"Molly," Margaret's tone was now a little bit higher and one of concern. "There is also reserved seating with placement cards, a gift table and a buffet."

"Okay. So, the bouncers obviously ripped us off. They must have seen the opportunity to make some cash. This doesn't mean we can't enjoy the party. So shut up." Molly demanded.

"What do you mean?" Tara asked.

"Oh, honey, take a look around this is a private party. We are going to have to leave." said Margaret.

"No!" Molly said in the always-assertive tone she always used to calm any conflict, "We paid. We are staying. Mingle. Blend in."

So, the girls went on to mingle and attempted to blend, as they would have done at any other nightclub. The only problem here was they were completely out of their element. The blue sign at the door had read Jazz but the DJ was playing all hardcore rap, not jazz or even the dance music they were used to. Every man there seemed to either have a date or was wearing a wedding ring and as for the women, they weren't exactly twenty-something little girls wobbling around in barrowed heels. No, they were a little more of a sophisticated crowd, their looks were obviously tailored and their heels a bit worn. The few younger girls there were somewhat withdrawn as if they were only their accompanying their parents.

The only way Margaret would agree to stay was if all her friends promised to buy their own drinks. The other girls agreed but had no clue why she was even concerned. The group of girls really were innocent. Margaret always had to keep tabs on them. This was normally a next to impossible task and the dark unfamiliar surroundings made the chore so much more complicated.

She followed closely behind Sasha and Tara. She knew the two girls were on their way to the nearest dance floor and didn't want to lose them in the crowd. The other two girls, Molly and Tina were already out of sight.

"Dance!" Sasha pulled her by the arm and on to the stage.

Margaret did her best. She tried to move and mimic the other girls dance moves... though she knew this was a lost cause. After only a song or two, which had seemed like a eternity, she was off the floor. On the sidelines, she watched in amazement amongst a group of strangers.

The two sisters were unstoppable. Sasha and Tara had too many years of dance classes together. In the clubs they frequented everyone knew this. No one ever challenged them. However, this out of the way club in the middle of the city was a bit different... After overhearing some if the women talking she began to scan the room for her other two friends.

Molly had gone straight to the DJ. This was always Molly's first task at any place. She thought the right kind of music always made any night. Margaret thought this was harmless and shifted focus.

Tina was at the bar. It was clear the girl had abandoned the promise to buy her own drinks. When Margaret noticed a few of the men lined up to do body shots, she knew she was in for trouble. There was no defusing the situation now. Margaret started to panic. She didn't have time to explain the birds and the bees to Tina. She had to redirect Tara away from the reserved seating and get Sasha off the dance floor.

Margaret finally managed to get the group back together. Molly had found out the DJ didn't want to be her friend. Tara had eaten the birthday girl's cake and Tina had accepted a few too many drinks from a man with a tan line on his ring finger. Trouble was spelled out and not in a Travis Trent country song sort of way.

The five of them waited in line for the ladies' room, which was conveniently or rather not so conveniently located farthest away from the nearest exit. All of them felt the tension. They did their best to try to blend in but it is impossible to blend in with a crowd when the crowd only sees five uninvited and unwanted females. The people in the nightclub saw the girls and expected the worst. They weren't looking for innocent girls who just wanted to mingle, dance, and have a good time. "This is beginning to get dangerous." Margret told the girls

They all felt uncomfortable but ignored Margret. They really had no clue what she meant when she used the word dangerous. That is until six women made their way into the bathroom pushing their way ahead of everyone. "Those women looked pissed off." whispered Sasha.

She had shown every one of them up on the dance floor earlier. "Ten years of dance classes do not pay off if all they ever get you is your ass beat in a nightclub." Margaret said and would have turned around then if not for the fact that the chances were not good. The five of them were completely surrounded.

They were in one of those cute little waiting rooms with a chairs and full-length mirrors for touching up and Sasha had already plopped down in a chair taken off her earrings and slipped off her heels. She had done so because she was uncomfortable. However, to the crowd of women waiting around it looked as if Sasha was getting ready to throw down.

"Hey, stop being so antisocial, have a better time!" Sasha growled.

"Yes, and maybe if you weren't so blinded by the sparkly dance floor you would have noticed..."Margaret began to stammer and stew on how she was going to explain this to her friend with so many people around.

"I overheard..." as soon as she started talking Margaret knew she had to choose her words very carefully. However, she was too worried to stop herself from blabbering. "I overheard some of the other women talking..." She knew her voice was too loud and tried to quiet her tone. "One of them said..." and by this time it was too late for words. So, Margaret did the only thing she knew to do in order to avoid conflict. "Quick" she said, "Let's pretend we are lesbians."

"What?" Sasha said as Margaret began giving her a lap dance. Sasha loved to dance so she played into it and she laughed because clearly the only dance moves Margaret knew were the ones she learned from her striptease cardio-workout video. The mood of the entire room began to lift and a few people even started to laugh. Margaret was a spectacle. There was no denying it. The aversion kept the girls from getting a class A ass whooping in the bathroom of the not so jazzy jazz club.

As if the girls had not already planned to leave, a very large three hundred pound man pointed towards the door. "See" said Margaret, "I told you guys." 

Molly who never admitted defeat said, "You don't know what you are talking about."

"Oh sure, that is why the DJ was playing Aint Nothing but a Gangster Party when the bouncer helped us find the front door." raved Tara.

"Whatever. Who was playing pretend lesbians again. Huh, Margaret?" asked Tina.

"Oh, if you only knew..." scoffed Margaret."From now on you girls are on your own."

**Update 4-26-12 This story is about a group of girls who think they are entering a night club when really they are crashing a private birthday or  party of some kind and the don't realize they aren't at a club  until they have offended the guests. 

The scene is set on something I really did do without realizing it. The other characters have been dramatically changed and do not reflect anyone with the exception of the girl who does nothing other than ask the DJ to play songs. She is based on a real person who loves music. Everything else is pretty much fiction. 

Also might I add at the time no one was anything other than embarrassed or offended. I wanted to tell a story about hill billy girls out of there element. I now am embarrassed to have written this story because I feel I was originally misunderstood. 

** Oh, I should mention the gist of this story (to fit the Tory Amos prompt given) is: We crashed a party, here we are a group of girls surrounded by women who are obviously angry. I know. I'll pretend to be a lesbian because everyone loves lesbians and then we will get the heck out of here.

Also another note about the Tori Amos song prompt. I believe the song is about hiding sexuality. I could not write anything from the point of view of a person who has had to pretend to be heterosexual when indeed they are not. I didn't feel I could tell a story about something I have never had to endure. So instead I flipped the story and told about a heterosexual girl pretending to be a lesbian to fit. Sometimes the need for acceptance goes both ways. This is something not everyone understands.

**Note the label fiction: as in this not a true record of events.


  1. Love it! So quirky and funny. Nice work.

  2. Thanks! I love comments from fellow IndieInkers!

  3. I love what you did with the challenge! So fun. :)

  4. @Sparkandechoblog
    At first, I was unsure of what to do with the challenge because I didn't know where the words had come from. So someone helped me find the song and I am still not sure I understand it. I have read it a few times and each time I feel like it means something different.


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